REVIEW - TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D (2013)
Lionsgate are back with a movie with a saw in the title but it is not the return of their annual Halloween gift but instead their attempt at the seventh movie to bear the Texas Chainsaw moniker having taken control after Michael Bay's successful glamourously re-dux of the story. With creators Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper's names in the credits and Stephen (THE GRUDGE remakes) Susco and Adam (JASON GOES TO HELL) Marcus among others contributing to story elements the mini-major studio must be looking to bolster their franchise stable that already holds TWILIGHT, THE HUNGER GAMES and THE EXPENDABLES.
TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D starts with post-converted footage from Tobe Hoopers classic and leads into the suggestion that it all ended in a shoot out at the Sawyer place leaving one baby survivor who grows up to be the emo, arty, huge chested Heather played by the hypnotic mid-rift of Alexandra Daddario (and her cloth challenging cleavage. Seriously wow.) She inherits the last surviving Sawyers Texas mansion and heads there with some friends finding the series villain Leatherface lives in the basement who decides now is the time to revenge the final acts of the original massacre and kill all those who killed his family in the worst kept secret past of the little town.
Abandoning all the subtlety and atmosphere of Hoopers original the hopes to somehow create a cohesive franchise out of a rag tag bunch of sequels and re-makes fails under the splatter of excessive chainsaw deaths and horror movie 101 mistakes with some of the most ludicrous character decisions ever seen. Trying to escape a chainsaw wielding maniac at a fun fare? Quick climb on the Ferris wheel it takes you up and over and back to where the psycho is waiting for you.
This is pure direct to DVD/Blu/VOD drivel and a half arsed insult to the original. I'm sure there will be more Texas Chainsaw movies in the future after all Platinum Dunes remake was in profit before it filmed, there's money to be mined here, but likely not following the Heather storyline which is bound to disappear along with Michael Myers "Thorn" story or Jason's supernatural body jumping.
The screening I attended was not only 3D but was also presented in the D-BOX seats which turns the movie into a ride which seems to be more in line with what Hollywood want to give you these days. My friends and I had such a laugh with the terrible movie and the crazy jumping chairs that we actually had a blast with TC 3D. Sadly at home I suspect it will be a bore and a mere memory of the fun had that night. Unless I get one of the kids to move my chair while I watch it?
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Source: http://www.roughcutreviews.com/rev.php?id=854
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