You have heard the feared words "We need to talk" and now your relationship is now no more. Your heart is shattered into a thousand pieces and you don't know what to do next. Is it possible to reverse a breakup? Can you put the derailed train that was your relationship back on the tracks? Yes, it can be achieved, but it is going to take time, effort, and perseverance. You may feel hopeless and dejected now, but if you approach your situation with the right knowledge it is possible to get things back on track again.
Most people that find themselves in your situation approach it in the wrong way. The almost universal reactions to an unwanted breakup are anger, hysterics, grief, and intense sadness. When people are on the receiving end of an unwanted breakup they will understandably be angry and upset. The most common mistake that people make is trying to reverse the breakup while in that frame of mind.
Using a sledgehammer to crack a nut will destroy the nut. You need to take a step back, regroup, and approach the breakup from a more logical perspective. That is easier said than done, but it can be done.
Just Accept It
The fastest way to putting a relationship back together is to accept the breakup. Sounds strange right? It might sound strange, but trust me, the best way to ensure that you will have a chance to rekindle the relationship is to part company on relatively good terms. Your ex will not expect this as they will have prepared for hysterics and anger, not acceptance.
The fact that you accepted the breakup will knock your ex out of kilter, they will start examining themselves and wondering why you accepted the breakup so readily, and without protest. Inside you might be seething, but take solace in the fact that you are now in a very good position. You have put your ex on the back foot, you have outmaneuvered them.
Cutting Ties - At Least For A While
Right after the breakup you will no doubt be feeling incredibly lonely. You are consumed with a feeling of loss. Love is a drug after all, the sudden loss of the person that you love from your life will often present you with the same symptoms as drug withdrawal. Loss of motivation, anxiety, disinterest in things that you once enjoyed. It is not easy to pull yourself out of this situation, but in order to get your ex back you will have to do so.
If your ex is moving ahead, seemingly without a care in the world, then that will spook you. Initially this may be the case, but give it some time. Once your ex comes to the realization that you are no longer there then they will start to miss you, they will start to question the decision that they made.
Be strict with yourself. Refrain from contacting your ex no matter how strong the urge may be. You need to give your ex time to miss you. As the old saying goes - absence makes the heart grow fonder.
The Healing Period
It is very important that you take time out to deal with your emotions. A big part of the healing process is learning something from the experience that you just went through. Use this knowledge to reinforce your character. The trauma of a breakup is difficult and at times unbearable, but always remember - that which does not kill you will make you stronger.
Putting Your Best Foot Forward
Do not allow yourself to wallow in self pity, pick yourself up and move ahead with your life. In order to reverse the breakup you will have to show that you can get on with things. Your ex does not want damaged goods, he/she wants the person that they first fell in love with.
Party like you have never partied before, raise your profile, show that you will not be kept down. Bringing back the person that your ex first fell in love with is a lot easier than you think. All you have to do is put yourself in "the zone", remember who you once were and bring that person back to the forefront.
Confidence is key, if your ex can see that you are confident and motivated then they will start to regret what they have done. He/she will start to see the person they were attracted to at the beginning of the relationship, they will want that person back. There is nothing more attractive than a person who maintains a full, well-rounded lifestyle.
Laying down the ground work is only the first leg of the journey towards re-establishing your relationship. Repairing and renewing a broken relationship is an incremental process, a task that can not be taken lightly. There are more steps to be taken before the breakup is reversed.
What Do I Do Now?
You have a lot more work to do if you really want to win back your ex. The first thing that you will want to do is to check for signs ex still likes you. The last thing that you want to be doing is to chase after someone that just isn't interested - this will destroy you. There will be clues that your ex is giving off without even knowing it, your job is to tune into their wavelength and read between the lines.
Another thing that is crucial at this stage is that you understand the no contact rule. You have to understand when and how to contact your ex if you want them to be receptive and increase their interest.
Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/how-to-reverse-your-break-up-listen-up
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